I was raised and taught that since children have no experience in life, they have no right to teach their parents. Who came first – an egg or the chicken, in my parent’s judgement was chicken with no doubts. And it was always an arguing point for me. Now as I became a mother myself and read many different books on children’s phycology, the idea of a parent as a teacher transformed towards a parent’s importance as a guide for kids. And same time I believe that every kid comes into this world with a mission to teach his parents something. Something really important. And each family will have their own experience.
When I realized it, I saw all my daily routine with my girl under a different angle.
So, what my daughter taught me by now:
From waking up till bed time. Patience is my second name now. I learned how to just let it go and wait, and be there for my girl. How not get angry at small accidents caused by my daughter. Like drinks spilt around the house, like crumbles and handprints everywhere, like her being slow when we need to move fast, and so on and on. She is so little, she’s a kid, she’s still learning and she needs all that time to finish her meal, she forgets that her hands are sticky, she doesn’t realize that tables, walls and furniture are not for drawing. And Im there to remind her again and again, and wait till she learns.
2. Talking less
I’m a talker and I always thought that it’s a great quality. Only now I realized how more important listening is. It gives me more chances to observe my girl and interact with her, as I let her take her time and speak up. Recently I read that it takes 2-3 parts of the toddler’s brain activated to answer. So it made so much sense towards waiting while A. will respond towards my question. I don’t speak instead of her, I always let her answer first. If it takes more then 10 seconds, I try to direct her. But usually she’s able to say something and make the dialog happen. And I noticed that if extended members of our family don’t give her this time to process, and say something as if helping her to catch up on the topic, she won’t even try to open her mouth. As if you asked and you answered, the conversation is done.
Same thing with adults. Many times I would talk a lot with my friends and feel bad afterwards as I totally forgot to ask something important while chatting. So now since my daughter made me feel the significant part of listening in any relationships, I keep myself more focused on this quality. Someone said, listening means love, and I cannot disagree.
3. Time management
Before having a kid, getting somewhere on time was always a big problem for me. Now I have no other choice than be more punctual – baby has to follow the routine (feeding, diapers, playtime, shower time, bed time and other stuff in the middle). Timing my daily activities keeps my sanity and our days more productive.
4. Multitasking, self-organizing and planning
I plan all the time – shopping, cooking, going out and other stuff. I live on multitasking – I do laundry, while running the dishwasher, which was loaded while my coffee was brewing which I prepared earlier while doing something else.. I try to organize my days as much as possible. So they are easier. They don’t feel much easier though..
Those are the most noticeable knowledge I gained during these 2 years and Im sure there is more to come.