Anyone ever told you that when delivering a baby you are actually delivering yourself a best friend? I don’t remember when I realized it. Definitely not during the first year, when each day was a crazy round of feeding-changing-naptime routine. But once I felt it, this idea became stronger and totally dwelled in my mind and heart.
The thought which brought it on a spotlight was an article written by kids phycologist, who advised to treat your kids as best friends. Most of the time parents tend to mentor, teach and correct, and kids mostly hear tons of don’ts and no’s. The result is the timeless conflict of generations. But would we ever talk this way to our best friends? Why we get extremely happy when the best friend calls, and show no extiment as the kid comes home from school? Those thoughts stroke my mind and I totally overlooked my behavior as a mother. Yes, I started to pay more attention to the way I react on Alya and her actions. Since then I deal with her as I deal with my besties. This approach changed the value of mother-daughter relationship, it became way more important to me as well as the time spend together.
By saying, that I treat Alya as my best friend, I mean that I’m really into listening to all her stories, I do like all the pretend playing and crafty time we do, I’m there for her anytime she wants me. We chat, sing, laugh and enjoy every single moment together.
I’m still a parent and there are still moments of raising my voice. But the best friend approach keeps me sane, I know the momentary misbehaving will pass, and my friend is still there. My friend, who is always happy to see me and tells me the sweetest “I love you”.